Sunday, August 2, 2009

today....i wanna watch movie with darlin..but i dunno what movie to watch....

i wanna surprise him with movie tickets..but it sucks not to own a credit card or debit card for it's widely accepted usage for online purchases...

i wanna lose weight but i dunno why im not discipline plus i am really in love with my food. How i wish i can lose all of it mannn...damn..but oh well..it's here to stay temporarily i suppose. I need stop eating and fast fer real! i really need to pay off my fasting "debts"...

I need to start jogging like today..so i guess cancel movie plans..STRAIGHT HOME and jump into my sports bra and shorts and huge t shirt and my jogging shoes..RUN..!!

il update again..see how it is going to turn out..wahhhahahaha.

(p.s- smoking really do disrupt your lungs, affecting ur heart, which later affect your fitness level. DAMN..how i wish i was not dependent on cigarettes...)

Labels: muhammad azri is the best

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Today, I went to take some fresh air, after a whole day in class. I found out about some news that affected me for a moment. It made conclude that BOYS(not man) are dogs. I realise what my grand daddy say is true.

I have also concluded that boys who talk alot and crap too much and somewhat the one who is all talk and no shit is the one u need be careful of. Apart from that, girls need to be careful with BOYS especially when they try sweet talk you. One day when i have a foolproof plan, all u loserish boys will go down mann..Fuckers..U dun deserve to be even breathing and living near humans. Filth like u, dun even fit to be amongst rubbish. HOWEVER, thanks to such people, I now know what to look out for in a boy. ASSHOLES.

Dun u talk like u own me. Dun talk like u have me. Dun talk like u tasted me. Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn. U are just ultimately dumb to get urself involve with any woman who would hold on to such grudges and would just feed on ur downfall mann. U are a dog for.U salivate wen u see me and rub ur dick against the floor JUST TO SATISFY UR ANIMALISTIC SELF. Go hump your mum, u asshole. Claim whut u wanna, u aint gonna get a piece of me...WAHAHAHHAAHAHA.. this is not meant for my loved ones..

il blog in again later or something. BOTTOMLINE..Im glad and thankful I have MUHAMMAD AZRI in my life..thank u darlin for being my strength and support, especially during times like this.I LOVE U..i really do........

Labels: 21st January 2003

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Forgot to post this like last week..just post it now thennnnn....
Today made me realise that children these days are growing too fast. Scare the shit out of me. Hey people, seriously, take things easy mann. I had a distubing experience with a group of homosapiens with pretty much low intellectual ability. They are living in denial and think that life is a fairytale. Oh fuck..so naive..Well, i have said my piece to them. Species like them would unlikely have understand my point. U people go on reading books with happy endings okie? Good.



MOVING ON!

Today's topic for the class discussion is Gule-gule paling hot dalam class. She has the habit of sucking up to all the facilitators and even the pple around her. Will she learn she dun have to be "cute" to make friends?

Labels: I love Muhammad Azri

Sunday, May 3, 2009

I met him and talked on sunday before he booked in..i felt better definitely..WAY better..I hope you understand the reason y i was upset and the only reason i tell u that because i still care and love u as much as i did before the incident. Like i have mentioned before that this time, I am not going to lose u just like that. I want to work things out because i believe i can. I also feeel that 6 years of getting to know each other is strong enough to withstand all this, I honestly am not ready to face the reality if i am alone now.

Anw, I came across this song..the lyrics..IS amazing..Some of u would be able to emphatise such moments when u are deeply in love with someone..might be able to describe how I felt on that eventful day..a description of what I felt on that day darlin..i hope u would read it..i love u..Despite all this, love will pull through. Whoever said LOVE will always be wonderful?! u MUST be naive to think love brings u up to cloud 9. Love IS painful, but whut makes love wonderful is because the pain that u go through is WORTH IT. No other happiness can make u feel that way.

Song is sang by a girl and a guy.

SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AINT ENOUGH, by Patty Smyth and Don Henley

Now, I don't want to lose you

but I don't want to use you


just to have somebody by my side.



( i DEFINITELY do not want to lose you. Going through two years all by myself is a bitch. A feeling, so painful that i would rather die than go through that again. I am definitely not using you for any personal gains, u gave me support, believe in me, hold me and walk the winding road of life. )



And I don't want to hate you,


I don't want to take you


but I don't want to be the one to cry.



( i do not want to be crying alone darlin. I dun want to be hurt and heal on my own. Despite gg tru that shit, knowing that I have u is somewhat comforting. But at times, my tears run dry and at times i don't want to be the one to cry. Do understand my view where i am trying my very best to not restrict u in any form but i hope u are aware of the issues that i dislike. It is not for m y selfish reasons but im just uncomfortable. I know u never mean to hurt me. I always have forgiven u.)




And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.


But like a fool I keep losing my place


and I keep seeing you walk through that door.



(this paragraph would explain how i feel back in those years where i would be the one waiting and praying u will come back. I always have. loving u have been both a painful and a fulfilling one. No one would b able to make me feel this way again daarlin. i love u)




But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,


and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.


There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.


Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

( sometimes, they say u cannot love someone 100% because where would ur love for urself stand? But sometimes, loving someone, u cannot say "hey i want to love u 50%,"..its ridiculous...But i guess, if we put all the eggs in a basket, if it topples, ul have nothing,u'll have pain. For me, i have learnt that wen i put in all, and when u left, it feels so empty that i lost my vision for my life, it became aimless. Now my love for u can not be measured or weighed. It is there as it is. It is beyond any descriptive ability of the language. beyond words..)

Now, I could never change you


I don't want to blame you.


Baby, you don't have to take the fall.



( u KNOW, i have always love for what u r inside. I never have tried to change u. But if habits that is destructive of urself, definitely i would do my best to make u a better person. well, thats love. we grow together to be someone better than yest. )



(guys part)
Yes, I may have hurt you,


but I did not desert you.


Maybe I just want to have it all.



( This part is VERY IMPORTANT. this part was sang by the guy. AND..this explains y u felt that way that day.. u just want to have it all, "i want my choice and i want u"...sometimes in life, we do get whut we want but we dun get EVERYTHING we want. And i too understood that u had no intentions of hurting me and u did not know it would have hurt me that bad. This part made me cry cause i feel like i am a useless gf cause i might have misunderstood u. BUT BOYS NEED TO LEARN THAT WEN THEY ARE ANGRY, CAN THEY BE CAREFUL OF WHAT THEY SAY?..but hey, boys are best left alone wen they are angry. but i do understand now. dat does not mean im healed darlin, the scar is still there only i am trying to heal it partly, cause the rest u figure out k darlin, cause u always have..i love u)




It makes a sound like thunder


it makes me feel like rain.


And like a fool who will never see the truth,


I keep thinking something's gonna change.

THATS ABOUT IT! long uh my entry..but i feel good writing out my feelings. Thank u fer reading darlin(if u are). Those of u who happen to come across my blog. I hope i gave u some insights or at least have shared experiences. Pardon for my language. Take care people. Ily muhammad azri..xoxo..i miss schattig cheri..

Labels: I love u darlin., love is painful but its worth it

Saturday, May 2, 2009

U promised, u pinky swear...u promised..

Staring out this window and all I can see is the contours of the roads and the hills and the vast sky.

How I wish I can fly, fly far away and not feel like this today.

How does it feel like when ur insides are turn out?

How does it feel when u fall from a 100th floor?

How does it feel when God takes away your ability to breathe?

That was whut I felt when I read the conversations I had with u. I could not swallow. I could not think. I could not blink. I was stunned. Everything stopped. Everything that means so dear to me was taken away from me. Dumbfounded but Im screaming inside. Stabbed in my heart so deep. All I could feel was pain.

How would you feel when u try to make the ones u love happy by sacrificing your happiness. I laughed to cover my pain but my tears gave me up. How can I laugh when something that means your world to you react in that manner.

Why love have to be painful?
Why is your absence blamed?
Why am I useless?
Why I am naive?
Why am I sacrificing so much for my loved ones?
Why?


Absence makes the heart fonder.
I used to believe and still do but I realise, not everyone feel that way.
I guess not for you.
Absence makes your heart wonder.
U wonder of issues, issues I wish didnt exist

I hoped all these is a dream........
but i guess not...

Labels: How I wish things are different......

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Today is THURSDAY!

Bf booking out!! Im having lab management now.. I would say rather enjoyable to compare to Biochemistry. Today I have Adastra farewell buffet at IJC. damn..I SURE DO MISS CHEER SO BAD. I am actually thinking of joining Rexaz but to be honest, it feels weird when u were in another squad initially. The trust you have is quite shaky. In competitive cheerleading, trust is essential. But anyways SHARX..damn..im rather upset with the "advancement". There is so much potential but we lack confidence. It hurts so much inside. I will move away from the upsetting thought.

Class is fun. I have yet to talk about SABRINA. It was raining so bad today but Sabrina became the SUN. why? cause I was walking to class, kinda pissed. But she smiled so widely, I knew today would be a fun day! I step in greeted by DIANA! Today's group is my fav. cause got Diana and Hilton. I can just be me and not be hiding behind my shell. i have shell ok. I am very shy. Ask my classmates, they will agree I AM SHY!RIGHT?RIGHT?RIGHT?

Su..if u reading this..dun spam my tagboard. I will milk you dry! I know what to suggest for Nadd's birthday! CLASS!LETS GET HER A HUGE DILDO! woohoo!Nadd can stop killing zombie and stuffing that "thing" up your nose!NOW U CAN HAVE DILDO! wooooo

Today GULE-GULE girl found out people in class had issues with her. I kind of feel compassionate. I feel so bad. BUT! i cant help it. HOW CAN U LIVE WITH A CLASSMATE WHO SUCKLES ON LOLLIPOP LOUDLY?AND A BOOTLICKER? hard much?..its hell..

3 hours more till meeting BF!!

Labels: Die Liebe besiegt alles.

Year break has been mundane cause he is in camp. Damn. Been home the whole 10 weeks! Okay maybe not the full 10 weeks. But maybe at least a month? I have been attending training, entered Cheerobics 2009 as an independent group. Did not perform as I expected but it was good exposure. Especially to be competing for the first time in an all girls group category. But anyways now I am in my 2nd week of school in my second year.

Bf is POP soon orh!!! I am rather impatient for his POP because that would mean i have more time with him as compared to just weekends. Back to school. It has been surprisingly amazing. I am in love with my new class. I was actually expecting some geeky classmates, bootlickers, teacher's pet, unhealthy competition. I CANT HELP IT WHAT! What would be expected out of Pharmaceutical students? But anyway, it turned out better than I expect it to be. (see!when you do not hope so much, results might be better than what you expect it to be!)

I have 3 indian facilitator! Damn! I was HOPING HARD I would not end up with and indian faci but hey when one hoped, one would have to brace themself for disappointment. But it was not so bad. There are all Doctoriate holders. And there use to be a real doctor like in the medical field. One is a Dentist, one is a surgeon is I am not wrong the third one...... I am not sure.

I have a few classmates who I would foresee myself establish good ties with!
I would like to introduce "Paris Hilton" in my class. I kind of like Paris Hilton and to have "Paris Hilton" in my class has been wonderful! Why? Because he can bitch well! It has always been about bitching! I am a girl, I do have my needs to bitch, not a good habit but an essential impulse. At least, I normally would be upfront about my criticisms. I do not hide it either. If you are aware I am bitching about you, then it is a good sign. I would not be hyprocritical about it..OH!and he is my "Nobody-Wonder Girls" dance partner..wahahha.."I want nobody, nobody but u!"clap clap point clap! weeeee!

Next PERSON, i call my "BFF". We call her Nadd because she loves big slongs! Big Slongs= i like!So she is my "BFF" in class!WAHAHAHA..we have dimples too! Ain! jealous much? she is actually a very nice, innocent girl, who Ain would love to corrupt. And she has this laughter. Scarily cute!

Ain! obviously is my favourite person in class. Want to know why? Because she is my roks buddy! K, not only that. I actually enjoy having conversations with her! I think she would be someone who can remind me to behave too (I can get a little out of hand!). She is also fun to crap with like how Hilton and Nadd is.

Yusoff!also known as Sofia. He has a subtle personality. He is the guy whom u might want to say " Don't judge a book by it's cover". He is this innocent looking boy who w ould not hurt a fly but but but he is in silat(ironic?). He mightr hurt your balls mann. But he is overall a very nice person and you'll be amazed when he talks. He seems fine opening up to the "Geng".

Susu is the "Geng's" milk provider. Ok no. Joke. She is the one who laughs 80% of the time and would spend 20% quiet. She is an avid listener to gossips and stories.

There are a few more people. Would write about them soon. OH! Something hillarious happened. We were watching a part of "Short Bus". Those who have watched them, you must be horny or naughty but we were watching out of curiosity and comedy value or Ain would say "ART". Anyways...Ain was saying a character in the story could not have orgasm. Then Li Ting came by and ask a ver magical question. "WHAT IS ORGANISM?" wahhahahaha.. Everyone started laughing. Eversince when has ORGASM became ORGANISM?whahaha.. OK..u can say its lame but it was in the moment!The look on Li Ting's curious face was priceless.

Till next entry..Good Night people..

Labels: muhammad azri is love

Ricca Melissa
Muhammad Azri
210103
Schattig Cheri
HangLoose
She: Cheerleading and Geek
He: Boarder and Talented
Passion: Surf Scene, Art Scene, Boarding Scene, Feline animals
Chill, laid-back